Sportz!

Welcome again, readers! I hope it was scary how good your Halloween was. Personally, I had a great one. I had the honor of attending a really great Halloween dance party with some good friends. With a colorful T-shirt and a baseball hat worn sideways, I went dressed as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. At the party, Will Smith told me how much he loved my costume and I shared a few dances with Cameron Diaz and Meg Ryan. All in all, it was one the best Halloweens. Enough of the Halloween talk, how about some questions?

Dear Dr. Crews,

I am having a hard time communicating with my husband. Here’s the problem. My husband is a huge sports fan and I am not. His idea of “quality couple time” this week has been watching the World Series. And I hate baseball. On Sundays all he does is watch football and talk about the “glory days” when he played football in 5^th grade. He says it was the best time of his life. The only game I’ve ever been a part of is monopoly and I’ve never finished. We went out to eat for dinner the other night. When we pulled up to the restaurant it was obviously full and we would have had to wait for a couple hours. Immediately upon seeing all the cars my husband shouts, “Audible! Red Audible! Steak N Shake! Set…Hit!” I have no idea what he is talking about.

Please help us!

Cindy Binford, Fort Tellinton, Minnesota

Well Cindy, it seems like you have a tough situation on your hands. Here is what I think you should do. You need to immerse yourself in the world of sports. You obviously love your husband so, although you hate sports, let the love for your husband drive your endeavors on the ball diamond and the basketball court. I’m not just going to leave you hanging, though, here are some suggestions that will enable you to connect with your husband a little bit better.

Coach A YMCA Basketball Team

Do you have a son or daughter? If you don’t you could always adopt or do something like Keanu Reeves in Hardball. After you have obtained a child somehow, sign them up for a YMCA basketball team and volunteer to coach it. Before the season make sure you read plenty of books like The Dummy’s Guide to Basketball, The Idiot’s Guide to Coaching Basketball, and A Season on the Brink. Now that you know all the fundamentals of basketball, it’s time to take your team to the championship. The night before every game, sit the team down and watch “Hoosiers” together. Also, make sure you watch plenty of Youtube videos of Bobby Knight so you will know how a real coach acts. Don’t be like the other YMCA coaches, great parents first, coaches second. You need to be out on the floor, in your kids face, screaming your head, cursing the parents of the other time, and throwing things onto the court. That way you’ll really be able to appreciate the depth of the sport and in turn be able to communicate with your husband better. I guarantee you will already start to feel like your heart beats at the same time.

Hang Out With “Da Boyz”

Everyone knows that there are only two things that men think about and talk to each other about: sports and Star Trek. We already know your aren’t having a Star Trek problem with your husband, but hanging with “da boyz” will provide ample outlets for you to obtain sports knowledge and a sports worldview. Go to Bdubs or a local pub to “catch some brewskis” and chat it up about the wide world of sports. Ask them what they thought about D-Wade’s perform last night or if they saw that sick play by CP3 (not a Star Wars character). Do they think “the Boys” will be able to capture first in the NFC East? Can North Carolina repeat? These are the types of questions you need to ask them so that you can go home and talk with your husband about them. That way when you snuggle in bed with husband, you won’t feel like there is a 3^rd and a mile distance between you, but rather like it’s 1^st and goal.

Watch “The Natural” Together

This will be a great way to connect with your husband. Grab a blanket, throw some popcorn in the microwave, and get ready to see the emotional side of your husband. When Roy looks to the batboy and says, “Pick me out a winner Bobby”, don’t be surprised when you and your husband reach for the tissue box at the same time. Also, this is going to clear up the confusion when you used to ask your husband at the dinner, “Which pork chop do you want?” Women love seeing their hubbies cry and I guarantee watching “The Natural” is a sure fire way to make this happen.

I hope this helps, Cindy. Remember, a good back up plan is to watch Sportscenter as much as possible. Well, that is all for this week, readers, but let me leave you with these proposals. Go outside! Throw the pigskin around! Play some catch! Kick a few goals! And make sure you remember, forever, the night you played the Titans!