Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Love & Relations Relating to Relationships

By: Dr. Nathan W. Crews

First off, I wanted to start this article with a big thanks for the great response to the last article. I’m glad that hundreds of people were able to change their previously lonely Valentine’s Day experiences into a night full of merriment and gaiety. However, this article will be the first of many that I will (successfully) attempt to answer questions submitted by readers. Let us begin!

Hello Dr. Crews,
My name is Anonymous Male #1. I just wanted to say that your advice on what I should do during V-day was absolutely perfect. Before I read your article in The Papyrus, I was so dreary, I could hardly move. I was so depressed that I didn't have a Valentine. But something came up. I was wondering...I have this really good friend back home, we have known each other our whole lives. I was fed up with not having a Valentine, so I asked this person to be mine for this one day. The thing is, that person is also a Male. I have always made time for this person; we played on the jungle gyms in grade school, and wrote papers with each other in high school. So my question is...Is it weird for me to ask my best friend from back home to be my Valentine? Any input would be super. Thanks Dr. Crews!

Anonymous Male #1


Thank you Anonymous Male #1 for submitting your truly perplexing question. It is no doubt that since Valentine’s Day was but a few weeks ago and it may be a while until this question becomes relevant again but I am more than happy to try and answer this question for next year’s holiday of love.

What you are encountering is a feeling that is becoming somewhat of a trend. As one of many Psychiatrists in Love & Relational Relationships, it is a term we like to call “bromance”. According to Urbandictionary.com, bromance is defined as “the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males”, “A non-sexual relationships between two males who are unusually close”, and “A close relationships between two bros to such a point where they start to seem like a couple.” There is an even better description of bromance at the all-knowing Wikipedia.org. What you’re coming across is something quite natural so do not feel alarmed. There is no need to feel weird about asking your male friend to join you in a night on the town, whether it be Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year. To help make this feeling seem more normal to you, let me take you on a tour of some of the world’s most beloved bromances:



Ben Affleck & Matt Damon: It could be said that this is the world’s most famous bromance. They have been friends since childhood and continue to stroll down the red carpet together. These two have starred in countless movies together like ‘Good Will Hunting’, ‘Dogma’, and many others. What better pair is there than Jason Bourne and that tough, young, son-of-a-gun from Armageddon.

C. S. Lewis & J. R. R. Tolkien: Is there any better bromance among great Christian thinkers than C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien? First off, they both were excellent authors, writing books, such as Mere Christianity, The Lord of the Rings, and The Chronicles of Narnia. Second, They both have abbreviated initials for first and middle names, something that all intellectual people covet. And lastly, they were both part of the literary discussion group, The Inklings, where they would spend most of the their evenings at the pub discussing fine literature while having an ale or two. Without a doubt two very influence men in the Christian thought realm and one of the strongest bromances.

Moriah Seaman & Davey Lund: A local bromance that gets to the heart of what bromances are truly meant to be. Once a pair that sported golden locks of hair flowing down to the shoulders, the only way to describe this duo is “indie”. They both can be found jamming in Johannah Swank’s band, The Swashbucklers. Great musicians and even better friends, this is a bromance that is for the ages.

Well, Anonymous Male #1, I hope these few insights and examples can help you with your anguish you are feeling about your dear friend. Don’t be discouraged, keep that head up! A bromance is nothing to be ashamed about! Until next time, please continue to send your questions to Dr. Nathan W. Crews, Doctor of Love and Relational Relationships, at 200806058@panthers.greenville.edu.

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