Tips for Flirting

By: Dr. Nathan W. Crews

Hello, once again! This week I received two separate emails pertaining to the same question. Of those emails, one was from a male and the other from a female, which is perfect because it gives me a chance to handle this issue from all perspectives. Here we are:


Dear Dr. Crews,
As a college student, there are many things in my life that have needed to be adjusted to a collegiate lifestyle. My writing has needed to improve. My study methods have had to be increased to an acceptable college level of education. I was wondering if you could help me improve my flirting skills to a collegiate level?

Thanks,
David Wilson, Ontario, Canada

Dear Dr. Crews,
I am a junior at Arkansas State University. Of all my three years at college here, I do not feel that I have got a good feel for how to flirt well. I was wondering if you could give me any advice for how to flirt with cute college boys?

Thanks,
Britnay West, Woodcreek, Arkansas


Thank you Britnay and David, these are excellent questions. I feel that college students enter college with inadequate flirting skills and often leave without inquiring them. To flirt well is difficult and takes much practice but perhaps a few simple tips will help you make tremendous headway. I have divided some of these tips into different situations that many students find themselves in at college. Let us begin:

Apples to Apples:
A popular game amongst college students, Apples to Apples brings up a multitude of flirting opportunities. I would first suggest that as a group begins to form a circle, make sure that you are sitting next to the one you like. Even if you have to run and dive across the room, angering some people in the process, this is a necessary step. Make sure you introduce yourself. You might be saying to yourself, “But I have known this [young man/young women] for quite some time now”. It doesn’t matter, it is always best to reintroduce yourself. For our Greenville College readers, this is also an excellent time to list your top five strengths and all the strengths that you think you should have received but your not sure why you didn't get them.
After you have situated yourself next to the individual, it’s time for the game to start! I would suggest that after the topic has been selected that you quickly look over the other person’s shoulder to see what card they are going to lie down. Make sure you get as close to their ear as possible, you don’t want to accidentally read the card incorrectly. When the cards begin to be read aloud, make sure you laugh really hard at our special someone’s card. Laugh like it is the most hilarious thing you have ever heard. Laugh loud, laugh long, laugh really annoyingly.
Also a few times during the night, perhaps 4 or 5 times, you are going to want to initiate physical contact. My best suggestion is that at some people you place your hand on the other person’s knee for about 3 to 4 minutes. Just keep it there. When the individual looks at you (warning: it may not be a kind look), keep your hand at their knee and look longingly back into the individual’s eyes. This is flirting gold.

Campus Mail:
Here are a few simple ways to initiate flirting while using something as simple as campus mail. My favorite one, and one that is almost a guaranteed success, is coloring a picture of your special person with crayons and sending it to them through campus mail. Not just one, though, more like 30. I would also suggest that these pictures depicted your loved individual doing something like fighting full of valor at the Battle of the Alamo or perhaps what member of the Village People that your loved one most represents. Using stick figures is completely acceptable.

Utilizing Scott Field:
Here is a tip that pertains mainly to our Greenville readers (unless there is another campus with a Scott Field or perhaps you have a friend named Scott Field). When flirting you do not want to go over the top or be over bearing, yet, you do not want your flirting to be so minuscule that it goes unnoticed neither. Here is a tip that finds that perfect balance. Drape banners all the way from the library, across the trees opposite the gym, to the trees in front of Snyder saying, “I LOVE YOU AND I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW!” This is what I like to call “going all out”. Again, this isn’t over the top, but it displays your passion in such a way that it most definitely will not go unnoticed. Be creative! Use anything from the sidewalks to gumballs to the benches to get your point across.

I would like to reiterate that flirting is something that is not acquired over night but takes years of practice. Michael Jordan did not become a great basketball player after one game; he worked hard and became a phenomenal basketball player. However, I hear that he is not so good at flirting. So I suppose that you may have to give up a life of basketball excellence, but it will be worth it. These are just a few simple tips but I assure you, they will take you far!