A Detailed Look Into On-line Dating

Hellllllllo readers! I am very excited to bring you this article! We will not be answering any questions this week because I am bringing you a very special article. As you may have noticed, I have been absent for the past few weeks. That is because I have been doing research for this week. This week’s article is all dedicated to online dating services. Yes, that is corrected. I went undercover into the world of online dating services to tell you about some of the amazing opportunities and horrors that people experience when they use the internet to find a partner.

Online dating services seem to be really beneficial for people. The people that appear on the television commercials seem to be really happy, anyway. I must admit, even though I know almost everything there is to know about this thing we call love, I didn’t know very much about online dating services. I thought that this year was the time to find out what all those people on the eharmony commercials were smiling about.

The experiment first kicked off when I was watching television with my colleague and roommate, Dr. Beasley. A commercial advertising a free weekend on chemistry.com came on between shows. That is when I know that this opportunity was now or never. At the very least we were going to learn about online dating and at most we were going to find wives, we obviously we hoping for the best. I convinced my colleague to join me on this endeavor through the world wide web. We went to chemistry.com to sign up for a free profile and took a 45 minute long personality test. The personality test was very detailed (obviously, if it took 45 minutes). By the end of the test, chemistry.com knew exactly how many freckles were on my face and how many times I’ve blinked so far in my life. That’s how well it knew me. Dr. Beas (his nickname, and how he affectionately will be referred to as for the rest of the article) experiences a similar situation. After we finished our personality tests, chemistry.com immediately matched me with 10 prospective partners. Dr. Beas literally had no matches for three days. My matches were pretty interesting. Underneath the names of my matches were the taglines that were suppose to “intrigue” you to get to know that person better. Some of the better taglines were “Looking for ‘him’”,” I am a petite blond who loves to have fun”, “Down to earth, sweet, funny small-town girl”, “Country girl looking for a good, honest man”, “The Ukulele Lady”, “You can't drive by a park and not let me play! The kid in me pitches a fit”, “The love bunny”, and finally, “Might as well...” None of those taglines have been altered. I started to question what sort of chemistry I had with any of these women. Eventually, Dr Beasley received some matches. I ended up with 24 matches on chemistry.com before it finally gave up on me and stopped matching me with people. It was an interesting process, but ultimately chemistry.com did not produce the bountiful amount of honeys that we were anticipating.

After Dr. Beas and I signed up for chemistry.com, we took another 45 minute personality test and signed up for a free profile on eharmony.com. Before I go any farther into the story of my experiment, let me first say that our results were probably skewed. First of all, neither one of us paid money to use the full service of either website. Therefore we did not get the full experience. We couldn’t communicate with our matches on either website (let’s just assume that women would be swooning all over us if we could have). Many people invest a lot into these dating websites and, in return, find a great partner to compliment them for the rest of their lives. Dr. Beasley and I tried to get the most we could out of these websites without dropping a dime. It turns out it’s not a lot you can get.

Now returning to eharmony, it was another interesting experience. I actually enjoyed the eharmony personality test better than chemistry.com. The tests are made up of questions that ask you about you (duhhhhhhhhh), your interests, what you look for in a partner’s personality, and what you look for in a partner’s physical appearance. Once the personality test was finished, eharmony immediately began to match me with lots of women. What was unfortunate was that you couldn’t see any pictures of the women it matched you up with unless I dished out the Benjamins! Now I know what your thinking. All you care about is looks? What a tool! The answer to your question is no. However, being attracted to someone is very important in a romantic relationship. Second of all it was virtually impossible to distinguish these women from each other just using their profiles. Every single match said that God was the important thing their life and their grandma was their biggest influence growing up. Every single one. Every. Single. One.

Another strange thing about eharmony was the amount of matches that eharmony gave me. After only a month, eharmony matched me up with 228 women. 228 women!!!!!!! I started to wonder how much eharmony truly cared about who my one true soul mate was. Apparently they had 228 guesses.

Well, in short, that is what Dr. Beasley and I gleaned from our escapades on internet dating websites. Again, our research wasn’t as in depth as it could have been (you can send money to CPO 495 if you would like to fund our next experiment), but I hope to continue on with my research and I will continue to update you, my readers, on the online dating scene.